Thursday, March 6, 2008

i used to believe

the site is so cute :) puts a smile on my face.
here are my favourites!

When I was about 5 or 6, I thought that when the police told you to put your hands up, that they were going to shoot you in the armpits. I often thought about how much that would hurt. I was about 11 or 12 when I realized it was so that they could make sure you weren't going to pull a gun or something on them.

I had a strange fear that if I closed my eyes in the bathtub, William Shakespeare would come up through the drain and kill me. I knew his name, but I had no idea who he was, so I just naturally assumed he was some sort of bathtub vampire.

i used to belive that if i jumped off a house roof , gravity would invert and i would fall in to the sky.
i never did.
good thing man. good thing.
i was 5 now 19.

When I was about 6, I imagined a sort of targeting system in my mind, and thought I could run faster and do anything anyone else could do better, and for three days I roamed around the school playground thinking I was in fact, Robo-Cop.

As a four-year-old with a very large vocabulary, I decided the "Civil War" was the one war where everybody pretended they were nice to everyone else. For example, a soldier would offer the enemy a cigarette, shoot him when he least expected it, and then pretend to be sad about it.

I used to think serial killers were cereal makers that hated their jobs so they bought boxes of cereal and stabbed it until the box could not hold the cereal at all. then they crushed the cereal unto little crumbs.
until I was 9 I use to watch FBI most wanted and whenever I heard serial killer I think poor cereal then go up to my mom and ask to go to the store and check if the cereal is still

When I was about 7 or 8, my older brother told me that I was a robot and I wasn't really his little sister. He told me that my real family (the fridge, the toaster, etc...) only stayed at his house so if they got thrown out, so would I. Since I thought he was lying, I asked him "If I'm a robot, why do I bleed?" because I didn't think robots had blood. He said that my blood was really ketchup. AND I BELIEVED HIM. For the longest time I was afraid that I would get kicked out of the house if one of the appliances broke.
On a career day, when I still thought my parents were robots, I brought my dad (toaster) and explained that my family, though cold on the outside, were really very nice robots.
I confused my teacher once, when I told her that I wasn't bleeding, I was “ketchuping”

I used to wonder why people didn't have outlines like they did in cartoons.

-i'm a cereal killer-

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