Tuesday, October 27, 2009

how exactly am i going to do this?




oh just shoot me already, why don’t you?

how much can this brain take?!?!
all those minute details to be memorized…

why did i bring this upon myself?



for my seafoods and everyone else partial to korean,


remember to ‘inhale’ your ramyun :)





- 18.11 awaits -

Friday, October 16, 2009

my fish quack, my finals kill


remember the animation of my fishes that i mentioned some 2 posts ago?

you know, the one which imageready wouldn’t let me save as gif…

well i’ve fixed it!!! (thank the googlegods. i don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to google until just now, they have never failed me… plus the solution was so simple i hate myself for not googling earlier. boo.)


it’s a little bit jerky but hey, i have no control over the fishes ok!

and it’s annoying because the greens used to be all green and lush but the fishies have taken to stripping the floaties of their roots and gnawing the shit off of the long-string-experiment-used-water-plants.
that and i don’t think they’re getting enough sunlight so they are shrivelling up a little bit. (the greens, not the oranges)

of which i’m starting to grow minutely attached to now so i’m finally gonna name them! lol. haven’t thought of anything yet but if you have any suggestions, put ‘em in the comments!!





as for the finals timetable… finally out early this week (which is crazy because that’s what? like 2 weeks notice?? siao)


02/11 : Immunology

04/11 : Professional Writing in English
             Respiratory and Haematological System and Therapy

05/11 : AFEA 1106 (an elective so useless i will not even name it)

06/11 : Pharmaceutical Analysis

09/11 : Central Nervous system and Therapy

11/11 : Microbiology and Parasitology

13/11 : Medicinal Chemistry

16/11 : Semisolid and Liquid Dosage Forms


pro: completion on 16th. which means over a month of holhols!!!
con: papers on almost consecutive days. read: xinli does not do so great on quick reading.

i will not be sleeping right for 2 weeks… oh who am i kidding, i never sleep right anyway!

to rephrase, i will not be sleeping enough for 2 weeks.

but seriously… 9 subjects. it’s like SPM all over again except triple the study load and super time constraints. who the hell takes 9 subjects in uni man?? honestly.



and hor… i think the ‘hard’ SCRABBLE is cheating. i’ve switched to it since i’ve been winning the ‘medium’ relatively easily and now the programme is winning me by hundred over points each time :(  i tried looking up some of the words and they don’t even exist! (in the interwebs anyway). like wth is zooeal, towier, foen, and afald ???  [mutters under breath]


blog more later.



- stood on a dried gecko -

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

because i cried



-reposted from an email


'Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!' My father yelled at me. 'Can't you do anything right?' Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.

'I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving.' My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.  Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts.. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.

What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room.. He was lucky; he survived.

But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm.. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, 'I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.' I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a u niformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs.. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons, too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. 'Can you tell me about him?' The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement.

'He's a funny one.. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him, that was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.' He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. 'You mean you're going to kill him?'

'Ma'am,' he said gently, 'that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.'

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. 'I'll take him,' I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.

'Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!' I said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. 'If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it' Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples

'You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!' Dad ignored me. 'Did you hear me, Dad?' I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.

We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently.. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne 's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room.. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favourite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article.

Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . . his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . . and the proximity of their deaths.

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly

Live While You Are Alive.

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

Please do share this with someone whom you care.

Put a twinkle in your eyes, A smile on your lips, Love in your heart, A spring in your steps,

So others may know that you are living Life to the fullest, And that LIFE is worth living




p.s. i hate to spoil the mood, but did NOBODY notice ginger says ‘oui’ in the picture?!?!?!
i ish very sad dela. scroll your ass back down and appreciate my (apparently ineffective) placement of angle, please. thank you.

- grumble mumble -

Saturday, October 10, 2009

mid-autumn’s fest and misc


so according to my poll, i have 25 readers in all.
of the 25, 7 are martians, 12 are venusians and 6 are idiots.
good job, all 6 of you who voted ‘i don’t know’.

today, i spent the whole day doing mostly nothing. it was awesome.

there was a thunderstorm and i went to sleep without having to wake up to an alarm. ^^

feeling a tad bit melancholic as of now though. the warm fuzzy feeling from the week kinda wore off. i guess it couldn’t have lasted forever… i don’t know about you but somehow, i think this year’s mid-autumn’s fest was very mid-autumn’s fest, if you get what i mean. you probably don’t but whatever. someone hypothesized that it was because Moonlight Resonance was playing on astro. could be i suppose.

but anyway i did lotsa very MAF things :)

visited the grandparents in malacca! MAF was never a big deal. we didn’t purposely have dinner together at all for the past 20 years of my life (subject to argument since i cannot properly recall the first 5 or so) but we actually had a reunion lunch thing. warmfuzzyfeeling contributor #1

IMG_8092 IMG_8098

hairband and redface very salah, please ignore thankyouverymuch.

glad i was home in little old seremban with my kitty cats to play with :)
ginger was happy i was home too!
weren’t you, ginger?


oui, mon cheri.

clearly, he gladly agrees.
warmfuzzyfeeling contributer #2


in other news,
i painted my nails and they were pretty!


well, actually i just wanted to post this picture because i like it. hah.


had little mooncake gatherings with the gang for two consecutive nights because we are that happening. jess vroom-ed down from kl so we had drinks at starbucks with jeewei and ells, moped around jusco for a bit and then joined the people at ywk’s. we did super happening things like eat mooncakes, drink chinese tea, munch pomelo and gossip til the early morn. i know, you are so jealous of our happening-ness.

i’ve no pics from the first night but here are some from the 2nd at teo’s where we upped the excitement by eating peanuts and drinking lychee, chrysanthemum and wintermelon! (in addition to mooncakes and tea, obviously). it’s shocking, how very happening we are.


3 stooges.
here, we see teo fiddling with the electric mosquito racket with which he later demonstrated his apparent masochism thick skin by repetitively generating sparks from hitting it with his bare hand. bravo. you are legend. we will all remember the hand-in-coals and koi-fish-swallowing… right next to ywk’s iridescent maroon-blue bellbottoms ;)


the other 2 missing from the first picture.

can’t believe we’ve been friends for almost 8 years now.
warmfuzzyfeeling contributor #3.


had to go back to uni afterwards, where MAF is always a big deal.


at some concert the week before. i have no idea who those two were but they were really good. lol



verging-on-obesity me at a meet-and-greet session with yue lao, the matchmaking deity after my 1 hour presentation (which had nothing to do with him, in case you were jumping to conclusions)
i look horrid here but it’s quite amusing so i shall post it anyway.


DSCF6223   DSCF6224 

at the annual PTUM (pesta tanglung um) cultural night where they hold a very elaborate musical.
took me like 5 minutes to decide which picture to post because my face is bulat in one and funwee looks semi-retarded in the other… but i settled on putting both up because i’m useless at decisions.
ah, life’s conundrums!


always a huge event where the tickets are sold out and people arrive 2 hours early to make like cattle and shuffle along those zigzaggy queues that we all feel so stupid following when empty. it was worth it though… we got to sit at the 6th row or so :)


caught in the act of chewing through my notes.
(had a test the next day. ‘tis the life!)


this year’s musical was about a clumsy, scatterbrained deity who accidentally falls onto earth and how he affects the lives of people in a little village. you know… unity, understanding, compromise, love. that sort of thing. it was more comic and joyful compared to last year’s which was more towards touching omfg sad.


the opening dance number.
i think it’s safe to say the set wowed us all.


there’s actually a functional second floor okay! does that not impress you?
but then it got boring after a while cause they just used that backdrop from start to end.


some artsy shadow-work for a battle scene.
i like.


hahahahahahahahaha. damn hilarous.
cause the hairy chest dude is our junior and we were all wtf.

well it was alright as a whole. some technical glitches here and there. kinda made you feel sorry for them… to have the technical stuff screw up on you at the most crucial conjuncture after all your hard work and practice, you know? but at the end of the day, i still think last year’s was better. haha. it was all much more professional than this year’s. can’t quite pinpoint it but i think the dance numbers were more synched then… and they had a couple of sets :) and and it was more thought provoking in a way.

warmfuzzyfeeling contributor #4 i guess?


so here i am, back to placidity.


last thursday’s test was cancelled so it felt like freedom… short-lived as it was since the next test is on monday, still bloody enjoyed it. felt so free, in fact… i watched roman holiday and made an animation of my fishes.  but my imageready is effed up and wont save it as a gif so my hardwork is wasted and you will be deprived of it’s quirky goodness.


to compensate, here is another for hilarity.


the girls at extreme UV-consciousness. lol
if you will notice, they are actually trying to hide beneath the narrow shadow from the billboard. 
i took the traffic-light shadow which was in all sillyness, much much slimmer and offered virtually no shade whatsoever (in our defence, it was scorching burn-your-legs-under-black-slacks-off and the walk-light just turned red).


“Oh You can say that I'm the one curly fry in the box of a regular…
Living in a fastfood bag making friends with the ketchup and salt”
– mraz :)


- shit threads are hanging off my fishes -